Dance Advantage » Parents

“Late Beginner” Blues And How To Get Beyond Them

Nichelle (admin) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:20:41 +0000

A parent recently wrote me, explaining that her 14 year-old daughter started ballet at 10 years old. Her concern was that when her daughter goes to auditions, she is behind her peers technically and she wondered if I had any advice. In response, I want to address some of the emotional obstacles that those who come ‘late’ to dance often face. I’ve taught beginners of all ages and I’ve observed that these mental hurdles are often harder to overcome than the physical.

Also, because nearly all dancers, at one time or another, encounter situations where they feel behind or challenged I think it may speak to other young dancers, too.

Steps A Dancer Can Take To Crush Comparisons

Image via Wikipedia

Possibly the worst thing dancers can do when there is a strong desire to improve is make negative comparisons of themselves to other dancers.

As Dianne of Ballet Shoes and Pointe Shoes recently pointed out, sometimes comparisons help us create a realistic picture and provide awareness of where we are and where we still have to go.

See her post on Late Ballet Starters for a few pointers on where to look to form this realistic picture.

However, comparisons must stop there. Once you recognize where you are, let it go, and focus on what you need to get yourself where you’d like to be. It’s easier said than done, I understand.

So, here’s a plan (not THE plan) but a plan that I hope will be a help to you. Use what resonates most for you and leave behind what does not.

Step 1 – Change the Way You Think

Expecting perfection, overnight results, or for everything to come naturally leads to frustration.

Read this: I Can’t

If you begin to feel negative thoughts creeping in or start to feel badly about a correction you just received, tell yourself to STOP (seriously!). Then replace these thoughts “I am learning,” “I am patient,” “I deserve to succeed.” For more on thought-stopping and building success…

Read this: It’s In Your Head: The Power of Thoughts on Performance by Sanna Carapellotti (Dancer; Jan09)

Step 2 – Get Real About Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Recognize that everyone has both and that weakness only really matters if we allow it to turn us off our goals.

Read this: Mastering Strengths and Overcoming Weaknesses

Have a conference with your teacher and have an open and honest conversation about the areas in which you need the most work. Explain that you are feeling the need to “catch up” with your peers technically and that you are willing to put in some extra work to improve.

Step 3 & 4 – Set Goals and Make A Plan

The best way I know to get beyond comparing oneself to others is to set personal goals and make a plan to achieve them.

During that discussion mentioned above, have your teacher help you define some things you may be able to do outside of your regular class; an additional class or private lesson perhaps (if that is in your budget), some “homework” that strengthens, conditions, and supports what you are learning in class.

Read This: Setting Goals

As the article linked to above demonstrates, be sure that you create a plan that will help you reach your goals and determine a “backup” plan: what you will do or say to yourself when the going gets rough.

How Parents Can Help

Parents, your child must desire the additional work and goal-setting it will take to reach his or her dreams. Make sure your child’s dreams are her own.

Read this: Finding The Balance Between Friend and Fanatic

While you can certainly help guide your child through this process, remember that your primary role is to support your child. Be careful not to become another voice of criticism (it is likely your child has more than enough of their own negative thoughts to tangle with).

Read This: Accentuate The Positive

Praise your child in a way that will further their skill development and feelings of accomplishment.

Read This: Appraising the Value of Praise

Disappointments along the way are inevitable, even if they are only the momentary ones when your child lets negative thinking or comparisons get the better of him/her.

Read this: Dealing With Disappointment

Know Where You Are Going

I’d be remiss to not point out that, if you are auditioning and feeling that you are not up to par with your peers, or are just not where you’d like to be technically, that it may be time to reassess.

Part of knowing where you are in your training includes determining if you are on the correct training path: studying the material and working with the teachers who can get you to where you’d like to be. Form that realistic picture, mentioned at the top of the article.

Professional ballet, in particular, requires intense study of the form. How much time spent in the studio and the quality of instruction matter in this field. The good news is that there are many wonderful careers available to dancers and that there are multiple paths to getting to where you’d like to be. Just know which path you are on!

Read This: Finding The Right Teacher

Are you a late beginner?

What words of encouragement can you give others?

What helped you to get beyond those late-beginner blues?

What have I missed? What advice would you have given this dance mom?

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Curtain Call: The Art and Expectations of Performance Time

Stacey Pepper Schwartz — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:20:32 +0000

The first dance class I took was a tap class when I was 9 years old. I remember being so excited when I got my costume for the end of the year performance. I also remember my mom’s shocked reaction when she found out she had to spend $40 on the costume, $8 on the fishnet stockings, not to mention the money she spent on the pricey tickets and pictures.

IT WASN’T PRICELESS!

The first year I taught jazz class at a studio, I was preparing for the end of the year performance. I pulled the parents aside and told them that instead of buying pricey costumes the kids could wear different colored tank tops and black leggings. The parents were disappointed; they were hoping for something with a little more sparkle. Needless to say I was quite confused.

The end of the year for a dance class can be filled with celebration and lots expectation. It took me a while to find a balance to meet the needs/wishes of the students, parents, myself and the directors of the school. Believe me there was a lot of stumbling along the way!

Dance recitals should be a learning experience for the students.

Dance is a performing art and therefore performing is a part of the learning experience. Performing is not about smiling the biggest or doing all the steps correctly. It is about being present in the moment, dancing with and not competing against the other dancers on stage, and sharing the mood/feeling/story/dance with the audience.

I once had a student literally fall flat on her face on stage. She got up and immediately continued. When she exited the stage she was in tears. I was so proud of her. I told her anyone could learn steps but not everyone could fall on stage, get up and continue. This was a true step in her dance education. Performing is a skill you learn by doing; by having the experience. There is no other way to learn it. And I was so proud that she was learning these skills so beautifully. She stopped crying and smiled. I believe she learned a priceless lesson that day.

As you prepare your students for their end of year performances think about:

What do you want them to learn from the performance?

What skills do you want them to work on?

What kind of experience do you want them to have?

Share your goals with the parents. Let them be a part of the process. Teach them, as well as the students, the art of performing. Other things to think about:

Performance etiquette (Give your full attention to the performers on stage. This means exiting and entering between dance numbers, clapping at the end of each dance, refraining from talking and eating, etc.)

Proper make-up and hair. I am not a fan of little ones in lots of make-up and excessive hair spray. Dance is about movement not hair. Too much hair and make-up can be a distraction to the little ones. If they are focused on the bobby pins they will not be focused on performing.

Let the parents know you will need a moment to say “a job well done!” I think it is important to review with the students what they learned/experienced at the end of class. This is just as important on performance day. See if you can have a moment with each class at the end of the performance even if it’s only for each student to say one thing he or she learned or enjoyed about performing. And it is important that they hear praise from you and maybe something you learned as well!

Nothing is perfect, nor should it be. I tell parents and students dance is a performing art not a “let’s tape it and watch it on TV” art. What I mean by that is it’s about experiencing art – live! Anything can happen, which is awesome. It can be scary too. Children’s feelings are important and performing should not be forced but encouraged. No matter how much we practice, anything goes. There is no right or wrong; just a moment to learn and experience something new.

To get back to my previous story about my first year teaching, I think the parents wound up making hats for the kids. So, they wore tank tops, leggings and hats. In the end, I learned that a little sparkle added to the excitement. Having some extra pizazz didn’t take away from what I was teaching. It is all about balance. The next year I had a tie-dye party with one class and my 5 year old ballet class wore tutus. I still think it is very important to be budget conscious but also expectation conscious as well. With everyone on the same page, performance time can be a magnificent time to learn, develop, explore and ultimately have fun!

© Stacey Pepper Schwartz for Dance Advantage, 2010. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Performing, Teaching | Who's talking about this article?

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10 Credits Dancers Take With Them to College

Guest Contributors — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:00:56 +0000

Today’s guest post is courtesy Vicki Nelson. She and I connected over blogging but discovered a shared appreciation for dance. In addition to her professional experience within higher education, Vicki is the parent of two post-college daughters and one daughter currently in college. She studied dance for many years herself and enjoyed being a dance mom for 18 years. With this article, she’s put into words what a credit dance education, and arguably the arts in general, can be to young adults entering college.

Dance Education May Lead to College Success

Photo by bamarina09

As the mother of three daughters, I have spent 18 years as a dance mom. My daughters loved to dance. Each girl took ballet and jazz and one daughter added tap to the mix. We spent a lot of time at the dance studio! Two daughters have now graduated from college and the third is not far behind. No one dances any more.

Was it all a waste of time, money and energy? Of course not! My girls had fun, and learned to love and appreciate the arts. They gained a bit of grace and became more comfortable with their bodies. They made new friends. They had a great role model in their teacher. None of us regrets a minute of the time spent dancing.

However, I’ve come to realize that there are even more important benefits of growing up studying dance once students head off to college.

Qualities Successful Dancers and Students Share

As a college professor I work with college students every day. I see the qualities that successful students have, and I see the qualities that the less successful students lack. I believe that the dance education that my daughters received helped to reinforce many of the important qualities that made them successful in college and will help them succeed in their lives. I’d like to suggest ten of those qualities here.

Time Management

This may be the single most important quality necessary for success in college. Students who know how to plan ahead, organize, and balance their lives are the students who succeed. Children who grow up adding dance to their weekly activities, especially those who may take several classes each week, must learn to manage their time. They learn to balance, to prioritize, to multitask, to make choices and sacrifices. These lessons will definitely give them an advantage when they get to college.

Discipline

Anyone who has ever taken a dance class knows that it requires discipline. It requires discipline to show up to class, to control your body, to practice, to focus on the teacher. It requires discipline to give up other things to make room in your life for what is important to you. Students learn, and are able to practice, the discipline of making and following through with choices. When faced with choices in college, these students will be prepared.

Passion

Photo by ssanyal

Students who are involved in a dance program have the opportunity to pursue something that they love. In following their passion, they experience the benefits and the satisfaction that comes from following your heart. Hopefully, when they get to college, they will follow a passion for something – whether or not it is dance. They will commit to something simply because they love it – not necessarily because of a class, or a grade, or a career move. Loving something that you do is important in keeping balance in your life.

Commitment

Dance students learn that doing anything well requires a commitment. That commitment takes time, energy, sacrifice, and follow-through. Dancers learn to stick with something. You cannot become a dancer over night. It takes time to develop as a dancer. College students, too, need to recognize that some things take time to develop and require a commitment of time, energy and sacrifice. In this often commitment-phobic age, students who know the value of commitment will make a difference – for themselves and for others.

Hard work

Dance is hard work. As much fun as it may be, as fulfilling and satisfying as it may be, as good as it is for the soul, it is hard work. Dancers learn how to put in the hard work to achieve something. They are not afraid of doing something difficult. They know that they need to tackle a difficult task (or step, or routine) and break it down and work at it. Many college students worry about hard – hard courses, hard instructors, hard majors. Students who are willing, and able, and unafraid, to take on challenges achieve more.

Technique

Photo by bombarosa

Dancers spend much of their time learning to perfect, or at least improve, their technique. They know from experience that doing something well often happens because of all of the small details. A good dancer knows that a beautiful dance grows from good technique. Details matter. Details add up. Details take hard work. Paying attention to the smallest of details can make the difference.

Skill-building

Dancers understand that there is always room for improvement. No matter how long you have been dancing, no matter how good you are, no matter how clearly you understand a step or how instinctive a move has become, there is always room for improvement. Dancers learn that you never stop growing in your ability, that there is always somewhere to grow. In college, they will continue to strive for something more.

Criticism

Dance students understand that criticism is not a bad word. They understand that true criticism means helping someone find the best in themselves by giving them feedback. They understand that criticism is good and that good criticism helps them grow. They understand, because they have heard it being given for years, how to give good criticism to others. College students who are able to receive – and use – criticism will gain more from others. College students who know how to constructively criticize others – positively, specifically, non-emotionally – will be able to help others.

Creativity

Dance is not technique. Dance is not skill. Dance is not discipline or hard work. Although all of those qualities are required, dance is ultimately a creative work of art. Dance students begin to understand that they have something within themselves that they bring to a dance. Dance students begin to understand that dance is greater than they are. It is the ultimate unity of the music, the choreography, the technique and the soul of the dancer that creates the dance. Dancers learn to tap that creative energy within themselves – and they will bring that creativity to all that they do.

Self Investment

Ultimately, dancers learn to throw themselves completely into whatever they do. They blend the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual into a greater whole. Students who head off to college understanding, and having experienced, this totality of themselves will be better able to seek and maintain a balance in their lives.

My daughters no longer dance – although I continue to hope that they may return to it some day – but they have reaped countless benefits from their dance experience. The life lessons which they have gained gave them a head start in college – and in life. Current dance students may not yet realize that each time they lace up their pointe shoe, or take their place at the barre, or practice just one more pirouette, they are preparing themselves for life.

Vicki Nelson currently teaches communication at a small liberal arts college and has more than 25 years of experience in higher education as a teacher, academic advisor and administrator. She founded College Parent Central, a website designed to help parents navigate through the college years, to give parents information about how to be productively involved in their student’s college life while finding ways to allow their student to gain independence. Visit Vicki’s website at www.collegeparentcentral.com or contact her at vnelson@collegeparentcentral.com.

© Guest Contributors for Dance Advantage, 2010. | Permalink | Category: Blog, College, Featured | Who's talking about this article?

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How To Discuss Problems With Your Studio Director and Be Heard

Nichelle (admin) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:00:48 +0000

Are you looking to suggest a new class, program, etc. to your studio director? You may be interested in the post Approaching Your Teacher

Ideally parents and studio directors would see eye to eye on everything but we all know that it doesn’t always happen that way. Dance parents invest almost as much (if not equal) time as dance students in their dance school. Not to mention, the financial investment for lessons, costumes, private classes, competitions, and more. It isn’t unusual or surprising, therefore, that parents may have a lot to say about how a studio is run.

Parents, it is not at all unreasonable to express your concern over the policies at your school. However, if you are hoping to discuss changes with a teacher or director, follow this plan for making your approach.

Take a breath

Develop an argument

Time your approach

Buffer your complaint

Be willing to listen

Be willing to walk away

Take A Breath

Often when there is a problem or we’re upset about something, our feelings get all jumbled up with our reasons for wanting to see change happen. For example, a dance mom recently contacted me with concern about the attire (bra tops and booty shorts) which older company dancers are wearing for class or for assisting with younger students. In her question she added one reason she wants to see a change – the attire is not morally upstanding, and several ways it makes her feel – she finds it embarrassing, believes this makes the girls poor role models, and maintains that it does not match the values she wishes to uphold for her daughter (a younger student at the school).

Whether or not you or I agree with her reason or her feelings, they are legitimate. However, if she were to approach the director with only one reason and a whole jumble of feelings, you might see how this could be a problem, especially if the director doesn’t agree with that rationale or have the same feelings. Therefore, it is important to always take a moment. a breath. a day. a week. or two! to think through your argument.

Imagine the director feels the girls are good role models and that they show this in ways outside of what they wear. Imagine the director of the school does not share her value system, or disagrees that wearing this attire is morally incorrect. Imagine he/she is not embarrassed by the attire (or lack thereof) – many dancers don’t have the same uncomfortable feelings about the human form as others because they spend so much time on study and analysis of the body. Imagine no other parents or teachers at the studio have expressed concern on the matter.

When a parent presents well-thought out arguments for how or why the director should be handling something differently, he/she is much more likely to consider the complaint.

Develop An Argument

Before approaching a studio owner/director with a concern it is a good idea to think through the varying reasons a change may be in order. The rationale for your argument can include the personal reasons you would like to see things done differently but may also include other arguments to support your claim.

Going back to the problem with attire, our concerned dance mom could argue that girls struggling with weight or body insecurities (like breast size) may feel additional pressure or inadequacy when surrounded by girls in clothing that hides (or supports) nothing. The dancer uniform of leotard and tights allows the instructor to see what they need to – it won’t solve any difficulties a student is having with body image, but the wide variety of class appropriate leotards, support garments, and warm-ups means greater likelihood that young women of varying body types will find something that works for them. In the case of this mom, the director is a male. There is a chance he’s never thought of it that way and this argument alone could be enough to sway him if presented calmly and clearly.

This is but one practical argument. Coming up with multiple grounds for concern increases your chance of finding one that makes the difference.

Time Your Approach

This is so important! I can speak from experience as one on the receiving end of parent concerns (for a variety of issues) that the way a parent approaches me can have a tremendous affect on my response. Think about the ways this is true for yourself, in your work or at home!

The timing of your approach can make or break your argument. Set a time that is convenient for the teacher/studio owner to sit down for a discussion rather than confronting her between classes or while she is “on duty” with other responsibilities of the work day.

Hopefully your studio has a protocol or outlet for communicating concerns. For instance, when or how to approach an individual teacher with a concern or question and when it is best to set up a meeting with the studio owner. I recently sat in on a teleseminar with Suzanne Gerety and Kathy Blake of DanceStudioOwner.com in which they addressed the “Diva Syndrome” at studios. I was so impressed with the thorough system of dealing with problems and confrontations that has been developed at Kathy Blake Dance Studios over the years. They have managed to empower dance teachers and set clear guidelines for studio parents and students. If your studio does not have such a protocol established, you may need to go forward more carefully. Thoughtfully deciding to whom, how, and when you’ll address your concern. Please, don’t talk, gossip about, or sway opinions on the issue with other parents, students, or teachers. It won’t help your case and it will lead to negative feelings on every level.

Buffer Your Complaint

I’ve spent years teaching and, like most jobs worth doing, it is a thankless one. Someone who has taken the time to offer compliments along the way, or who approaches me with positive things to say about the tremendous work I’ve put in, gets further than those who approach me only to say something negative or tell me when I’ve done something wrong. Dance teachers and studio directors are no different from anyone else in their desire for criticisms to be delivered with care. So, making yourself heard is often a matter not of what you say but how you say it.

Be Willing To Listen

Most instructors think and debate with themselves on each choice they make. We are heavily invested in your child too! A teacher has a right to her opinions, feelings, and choices just as you, the parent, have a right to yours. Once you have had your say, stay open to the arguments she presents. Her reasons may be good ones!

Be Willing To Walk Away

You may do all the “right” things when you approach the studio owner and still not receive the desired response. It is okay to request change as long as you are willing to also accept that it is the director or teacher’s prerogative to run things according to his values and/or the prevailing attitude of her customers, and leave the school respectfully if preserving his choices will compromise the values you seek to uphold or if you no longer feel comfortable in the environment.

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2010. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Featured, For Parents of Young Children, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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Confessions of a Busy Dance Mom

Suzanne Gerety — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:00:58 +0000

Do you have one of ‘those’ moms at your studio?

You know, the one who doesn’t read the notices about payments due, rehearsal schedules, or performance times?

Or do you have one who drags their feet and doesn’t sign up until the last minute?

What about the mom who calls you all the time, emails constantly or has a million questions?

You might have more than one at your studio!

Communicating with parents is one of the most frequently reported challenges and problems that dance teachers and studio owners face when it comes to running a successful business.

Guess what? I am one of those moms!

I’m probably a great example of some of the moms at your studio. A mom who can barely find the time to get the lunches packed and get to school on time, let alone read the many papers and emails and notices that come home on a regular basis.

Here’s just a few reasons why:

My 3 year old daughter recently refused to go to dance class in anything except her fleeced footed PJ’s and absolutely freaks out at the idea of me putting her hair in a ponytail.

My minivan is what I call my ‘mobile office’. Some days it seems like I get in and out of my van to drop-off, pick-up, drop-off, run errands, pick-up about 20 times.

I get invited to dozens of events by email: pampered chef parties, scrapbooking events, birthday parties, girls nights out, volunteer days at my kids school, parent committees, the list is endless. If I can RSVP to half, I’m doing well.

My dining room table on most days serves as a place to fold laundry.

I run from work to soccer practice then to music class. We have school and dance class and work again. Then it’s over to the studio, back to my home office, and school again. My google calendar looks like a puzzle of appointments!

It’s no wonder that communicating with parents is a top concern and complaint of dance teachers and studio owners!

Can you relate? There’s good news here…

Teachers and Studio Owners, increase your success in effectively communicating with parents by keeping them engaged and involved through a variety of modes of communication.

If there is an important date or deadline that I should know about please deliver that communication to me in a variety of ways, more than one time.

Post announcements in the studio, announce it after class, post it on the studio website, email me. I need more than one reminder and it’s not that I don’t care, it’s that sometimes I just cannot record that date into my calendar at that moment or the form could be lost among many others.

Thank you for going out of your way to let us know about important dates and deadlines.

Ask me what I can do to help. Seriously.

Believe it or not, even in the midst of the chaos with a couple of kids most moms want to be involved and help out.

Do you need a parent volunteer at the show?

Need someone to steam costumes or maybe email moms I know to let them know spots are still open in dance class on Tuesday mornings? If you don’t ask, I think you have it all handled, by all means ask. If I can’t help this time around, I’ll make sure next time.

I’m looking to the internet first, you should be too.

With my busy life, one thing has made my life easier: the internet. I like to register my kids for their activities at off hours, I check my email from my smart phone, I Google everything and I’m communicating with my friends and work colleagues on social media.

Thanks for keeping your website up to date, posting important news, and keeping in touch online. It really helps me know what is going on at the studio. Even better, I like to let my friends know and I’m happy to share it with them.

Lastly, and MOST importantly: Thank YOU

I am one of ‘those’ moms who may not say it often enough, or perhaps even at all.

Thank you. All I want for my child is to see them succeed and be happy. Thanks for making dance class fun for my kids. I appreciate the time and thoughtfulness you show with your enthusiasm and praise.

Dance class is a highlight of the week for my child. You create that moment each and every week.

From all those moms and parents out there that may not say it, thank you for all that you do to keep the joy and magic of dance alive in the world.

© Suzanne Gerety for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Featured, Studio Admin, Teaching | Who's talking about this article?

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Help! My Child Doesn’t Listen to the Dance Teacher!

Nichelle (admin) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:00:15 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

Concerned parents sometimes send questions regarding their child’s dance education. Keeping in mind that email questions often paint a limited picture, I do my best to offer sound advice based upon my experiences as a teacher. Recently a reader approached me with a series of questions. Based on her daughter’s difficulties with listening to the ballet teacher, this particular mother was wondering if perhaps ballet was just “not right” for her four-year-old daughter and was considering discontinuing her involvement, but wanted a second opinion.

Without observing the class or the child, it is obviously impossible to offer more than guidelines or things to consider when a child is not responding or responding negatively to instruction. Knowing that other parents may be asking themselves similar questions, I am offering an expanded version of the advice I gave to the parent mentioned above.

My child is not listening to the teacher. Is this a developmental phase?

Children do test limits and this is not limited to preschoolers – How do you know where a boundary is and feel secure that it will always be there if you do not occasionally walk to the edge of it?

Teachers and parents help children by making boundaries and expectations clear (often before the child has a chance to test them). When a child continually resists or pushes, even when limits are clear and consistent, I suspect that something is interfering with the child’s ability to respond accordingly. A wide variety of things could be the source of this interference. Taking steps to discover what is going on with an individual child and what does work for him or her is a big step toward improvement of the child’s behavior in class.

I suggest you make an appointment with the child’s teacher to discuss what he/she is seeing in class, as well as set up a time to observe the class if possible. It is important for teachers and parent(s) to work together on possible solutions.

Is a preschooler (under 5-years old) too young to be expected to listen?

Absolutely not – in fact, the benefit of an early start in dance has more to do with the practice of following instructions in a class format than it does with preparing for later success as a dancer (some of the greatest professionals have had “late” starts). I’ve rarely encountered a child that does not enjoy moving (and learning about the principles of movement) when it is presented in a developmentally friendly way. This, in my humble opinion, should be the focus of early dance education.

What can I do if my child isn’t following directions in class?

Image by Oude School via Flickr

Keep your routine at home as predictable and peaceful as possible. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating well, and try to relieve any stress or anxiety he/she may have at home or in class (is this a new teacher from last year, is there conflict between your child and another, has the class environment intensified in some way?) Sometimes even small or unexpected things can affect a child’s attention and behavior.

Be clear and consistent with expectations at home and compare these to the class expectations. Of course, your style at home and the way your child’s teacher runs his/her class will not be identical. However, communicating and receiving (with an open mind) ideas about what works (or doesn’t) for a particular child can enlighten a plan for how to help a child cooperate, both at home and in the studio. If the rules/guidelines at home or within the studio are not in line with each other (for example the child is expected to not interrupt the teacher while talking but this behavior is pardoned at home, or at home a “countdown” warning is given before leaving or moving on to another activity and in class activities change without warning), the child may become confused about what is expected of him/her. Consistency is key.

Help your child establish a good relationship with his/her teacher. On her website, Dr. Laura Markham offers some tips on how to include your child’s teacher in daily conversation in a way that will help your child form an emotional and familiar attachment with him/her. Click here to read the article, which also includes other ways you can help your preschooler learn to listen to a teacher.

I have a bit more to add on this subject. Tomorrow, look for the continuation of this post in which I discuss class structure for young dance students and how certain experiences may discourage your child’s attentiveness in class.

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Featured, For Parents of Young Children, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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Parents, Which Type of Helicopter Are You?

Nichelle (admin) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:23:57 +0000

Image via Wikipedia

I’m a fan of College Parent Central, a blog mainly written for parents of college students. Blogger, Vicki Nelson recently did a three-part series about “Helicopter Parents.” As I read the articles, the dreaded term “stage mom” came to mind. Parents of university-bound students are not the only ones who “hover,” and therefore, Vicki’s positive message about redefining and examining parental involvement in a child’s life certainly has applications in the dance world. So, I thought I’d share these articles with you – just follow the links below. Enjoy!

Affirming “Helicopter Parents”: Redefining the Title

This is the first of three posts that consider the concept of college helicopter parents. The concept is certainly not new, but it warrants continual examination – and sometimes redefinition. In this post, we look at the definition of helicopter parents, as well as some of the motivation behind parental hovering. In our next post, we will examine who helicopter parents are and how they operate, and in our final post, we will consider the consequences of helicoptering and suggest some possible ways in which parents might hover productively.

Is all hovering bad? What are the negatives? The positives?

How involved should a parent be in a child’s dance education?

What are the indicators that a parent’s hovering is producing negative results?

Parents, students, and teachers, I welcome your thoughts on the subject!

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, College, Competing, For Parents of Young Children, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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9 Posts for Parents

Nichelle (admin) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:00:10 +0000

What It Takes – Becoming a Ballerina

A post with links to some excellent articles and first-hand experiences about becoming a ballerina (or ballerino) and the sacrifices a dancer and their family makes during the process.

Dance of Independence

What to expect when a young child begins their first dance class, how to calm their worries, and encourage their independence.

The Thought That Counts

Gift-buying strategies for that special dance teacher.

What to Look for in a Dance Studio

A favorite collection of posts here at Dance Advantage that offer things to think about when choosing a dance school and also how to decide if a school is right for you and your dancer.

Life as a Dance Mom: Finding the Balance Between Friend and Fanatic

Accentuate the Positive

Similar themes for these two articles. One is written by Guest Poster and dance mom, Mariangela. The other is my take on the subject.

Appraising the Value of Praise

Encouraging self-confidence – an article for parents and teachers, this offers examples of ways to praise your dancer.

When Should My Child See a Doctor for Injuries?

Some guidelines for concerned parents or those who’d like to be prepared when injuries occur.

A FREE Download for Parents of Dancers

This free e-book by Lisa Howell is still available and highly recommended for parents of dancers (particularly those in ballet and/or pointe).

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Featured, For Parents of Young Children, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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Accentuate the Positive

Nichelle (admin) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:00:13 +0000

Parents help competitive dance live up to its potential

Just because a pursuit is artistic, does not mean it is immune to the same negativity that can sometimes permeate the competitive sports atmosphere. We’ve all seen the screaming parents on the sideline at sporting events. But you know, offending guardians in the arts have their own label…. Stage Parents!

Though there are plenty of stage parents outside of competitive dance, the sport-like atmosphere of competing can bring out the worst in some. Still, just like sports, competitive dance has great potential to motivate students and increase self-confidence in young performers, plus there’s the opportunity to broaden minds and discover a variety of dance styles or modes of expression… The list goes on, for there is certainly much that can be gained.

A parental approach which supports and encourages the positive aspects of an experience is the same, regardless of the activity or discipline.

I’m still new at parenting. Yet, I’ve already found success in applying some of the principles below with my toddler. Consequently, I’ve found they are fundamentally good guidelines in teaching and in leadership/management roles, as well. If you are the parent of a competitive dancer, I encourage you to share your own thoughts, views, and advice below this post.

“As a parent, how do you encourage and reinforce the positive aspects of competitive dance?”

By supporting and building the self-reliance (confidence) of dancers with your actions

A.C.T.T

Approval – Dancers need to know that their 100% effort equals your 100% approval.

Show interest in the process not just the product. Learning to dance is an endeavor that takes time and perseverance. Learning and performing choreography is only part of that process but it easily becomes the primary focus when students are competing. Ask your child questions about what they are discovering about movement, about the art form, about themselves throughout their training. This keeps performance and competition in its place (where it belongs) as just another part of the process.

Be aware of what you are communicating. We convey, with our bodies and with our actions, perhaps more than we could ever say with words. Showing that a mistake is not a big deal, that you are proud of a child’s efforts, that opposing teams are not the enemy, that not receiving a trophy is an opportunity rather than a disaster, that teachers and judges deserve respect is important. Action and reaction speak volumes.

Appreciate their achievements – I’ve written about methods of praising achievement before in Appraising the Value of Praise. The article explores the difference between praise that describes the accomplishment rather than evaluating the child for succeeding (or failing) at a skill. It also offers tips for being specific when you offer praise.

Comfort – Dancers need you to help them work through disappointments and errors

Discuss mistakes and ways to improve when your child is ready. Immediately following the performance is not the time. The appropriate time will depend on your child. However, when the moment comes, remember that discussion is key. Begin with a question, not with your solution. Listen. Help them to assess and learn from their mistakes rather than give advice on how they can be better.

Resist joining ‘em when you can’t beat ‘em. It can be frustrating when teachers, other parents, and students around you or your child behave inappropriately or negatively. It is natural for parents to want to jump to their child’s defense when he/she is mistreated or unfavorably affected by the actions of someone else. When dealing with negativity, don’t stoop to a similar or lower level to deal with it. Instead, regard this as an opportunity to model and teach your child about appropriate and positive behavior. If your child’s safety (physical or mental) is at risk, approach the offender with calm (take a breath before choosing your action) and with respect, and consider removal from the situation if it is in your child’s best interest.

Recognize that not all hurts require a Band-Aid. As mentioned above, parents feel compelled to protect their children. Sometimes parents will stop at nothing to find ways to fix a problem or just make their child’s hurt or disappointment go away. Often what the child needs most is someone to help them put things in perspective and learn to accept things they cannot or need not change. (also see Trust below)

Trust – Dancers need to be able to trust you and learn to trust in themselves

Nurture trust in abilities – The goal is to raise an individual that can do for him/herself the majority of the time – sew elastic on her own ballet slippers, communicate effectively with teachers or peers, stand up for himself, be on time, etc. When you do things your child could do for himself, you undermine her self-trust.

Be reliable – Children need to trust that you’ll always be there to offer them support when they need it. They need to trust you’ll not embarrass them by reacting negatively to a situation in front of friends or teachers. They need to trust that you’ll be consistent in upholding your values and priorities. They need to trust you’ll listen to their thoughts and desires. They need to trust that your dreams for them won’t overshadow their own dreams.

Truth – Dancers need you to be realistic

Encourage them to do their best, not be the best. The truth is, there is no such thing as “the best,” just varying degrees of capability. Wipe the idea from your mind that a child could, would, or should be “the best” if only _______. Help children to focus on learning, growing, refining their skills so that they can best themselves.

Photo by Melinda Shelton

Help them to remain focused on goals. Competitors that focus on winning or receiving a medal/reward lose perspective. They may push hard until they are awarded or surpass their competition but lose their motivation once they’ve done so. Competitors that focus on self-improvement (as an individual and/or as a a team) by setting both short-term and long-term goals experience continual success. They push themselves to succeed because even those small achievements are thrilling to attain. Parents can talk with children about the goals they’d like to set for themselves, about the goals their teacher has mentioned, and help them celebrate and even document their achievements.

Keep it real. The truth is that no one is good at everything. Mistakes are inevitable. You really can’t win them all. Nobody is perfect. Winning an award, a trophy, a scholarship is not something you can control – your own performance is. We learn more from failures than victories. Not everyone will become a professional dancer. Dreams and goals can change. Sometimes you just don’t get what you want. Often, meeting goals takes time, patience, and determination.
Mariangela, a dance mom who is keeping it real, offered a great piece of advice in her guest contribution here at Dance Advantage: “Be sure to love your child unconditionally. It’s easy to judge and criticize when we invest a lot of our time and energy (and money) into something. At the end of the day, they are your babies, your child before anything else.” Read the rest of her insightful article here.

Like a flower that continues to grow when all is against it, even negative environments have spawned beauty. But only the hearty survive. To grow a garden of children that value dance as an art form, value themselves and those around them, and flourish not only in dance but in life, requires that adults (teachers and parents) make every effort to provide favorable conditions. It doesn’t happen just because the potential is there.

I have written this post in response to a blogging contest run by Liberty Mutual’s ResponsibleSports.com. They are offering prizes but, more importantly, I felt the topic was relevant to Dance Advantage readers. I hope you find this post equals the standard of the others here. I was pleased to find that ResponsibleSports is really an excellent resource which provides parents with tips on how to talk with children and with coaches, and offers tools to accentuate the positives in team sports. Their materials most certainly apply to dance and I encourage you to visit and check it out for yourself!

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Featured, Health and Wellness, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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College Days Ahead? Don’t Miss “College Parent Central”

Nichelle (admin) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:00:57 +0000

I’ve provided a series of posts on Dance Advantage that provide prospective dance majors and minors with necessary tools for navigating within the dance department. CLICK HERE to visit The College Guide.

Photo by Amanda

The transition to college, however, is a significant one. Therefore, I’d like to share a new resource called College Parent Central. As the blog name indicates, its focus is on arming the parents of college students with the tools they need to assist their college student. The information within, though, is just as relevant for students who wish to prepare themselves for what lies ahead.

Here are just a few samples of what you’ll find there:

The Course Syllabus: Roadmap to Success
Summer Preparations For Your College Student’s Transition to Freshman Year
Should My Student Consider Deferring Enrollment for College?
What Should My College Student Consider When Choosing a Schedule of Classes?
College Students and Credit Cards
Should My College Student Have a Car on Campus?
Discussing Campus Safety With Your College Student

Enjoy exploring the site!

College students, are there websites or blogs you would recommend to others about to head off to college?

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, College, Dancing, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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When Should My Child See A Doctor for Dance Injuries?

Nichelle (admin) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:00:56 +0000

Most injuries in dance don’t happen suddenly. Instead, students often suffer from chronic overuse injuries. Some minor impairments can be treated without visiting a physician. Too often, though, smaller injuries become more severe because proper care is not administered early or because dancers continue self-care despite warning signs that more specialized care may be necessary.

Parents and teachers of children and teens want to know, “What are the warning signs that a dance student should see a doctor?”

1. Here is what you need to know…

Pain = Cause for Concern

Pain is our body’s way of telling us something is wrong. Even the youngest children (3 or 4 years of age) can tell us where and when something hurts. Unfortunately, sometimes dancers learn very early to overlook or ignore pain. Teachers and parents can create an environment in which students develop a mindset to recognize and respect their body’s warning signals. There is no gain in ignoring pain.

2. Here is the answer to the question…

If the pain, discomfort, or problem persists beyond 2-4 days, consult your teacher. If the teacher does not see the source of, or cannot correct the problem your child should see a doctor.

Photo by Amanda Tait

Acute Injuries

These are usually obvious because they come about as a result of an incident. Landing wrong from a jump. Falling from a lift. Slipping while crossing the stage. Severe injuries like broken bones obviously need immediate attention and a visit to the doctor. For most common ailments…

First aid suggests the R.I.C.E method (rest, ice, compression, and elevation) for strains, sprains, swelling, etc.

In addition, staying hydrated and eating well promotes healing.

See #2 above

More about treating common dance injuries

Overuse/Chronic injuries

Overuse or chronic injuries are sometimes triggered by an event that is allowed to persist without proper rest or rehabilitation. However, often they are caused or aggravated by other circumstances (this is a great list, adapted from this one about kids in sports):

growth spurts

imbalance between strength and flexibility

inadequate warm-up

excessive activity (for example, increased intensity, duration, or frequency of training)

improper technique

unsuitable floors

Signals of Chronic Pain

Photo by Ville Säävuori

Deborah Vogel (thebodyseries.com) offers these four signals of chronic pain, as well as an excellent explanation of how dance injuries start in small ways, in an article about a hamstring/sciatic injury. I highly recommend you read her words for yourself.

Pain that gets progressively worse during working out.

Pain that comes after you work out and the next day comes back after less working.

Pain that is accompanied by a certain movement (e.g. arabesque).

No real sense of “pain” but a definite restriction of movement.

It is normal to have temporary muscle soreness after a challenging class or when working in a new way. Anything that persists, particularly in the ways mentioned above, should be discussed with a physician or dance/athlete specialist. This should be done sooner, rather than later (see #2 above).

A Note on Anti-Inflammatory Drugs

These are often overused in the dance community. Sometimes a doctor will recommend them and they can help bring down swelling. However, they are misused when taken to “get through a class” or otherwise mask pain (see #1 at the top of this post).

Reinjury

Dancers often re-injure themselves when they return too quickly to activity. Temporary muscle soreness can sometimes improve with a return to class. However, if moving makes it feel worse, the body may need more rehabilitation time and/or medical attention.

After and injury, always ease back into activity. It is better to be safe than sorry. Dancers don’t like to hear this when they are eager to get back or feel pressure to return to class but, remind them that temporary setbacks are just that – temporary, and not worth permanently injuring oneself.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Prevention

Of course, preventing injury in the first place is ideal. Although sometimes this is not entirely possible there is a lot a parents can do to keep their dance students injury-free.

Find a studio that is committed to safety

What is your studio’s philosophy?

Is there proper flooring (i.e. – something sprung or with some “give”)?

Find a studio that is committed to quality instruction

Do the students spend a reasonable portion of their class warming-up (not stretching but individual body-part and full-body exercises that encourage blood flow)?

Are students encouraged to master foundational basics before moving on?

Do students receive individual attention and feedback from their teachers?

Etc… (see this series for more on quality instruction)

Encourage dancers to stay hydrated

How much water is really necessary is debated, however, there are many active dancers that probably do not drink enough water. Here are some suggestions to improve water intake.

Encourage healthy, balanced nutrition

I know this can be a tough one for families and kids on the go but it is so important! Here are some good pointers on healthy eating from kidshealth.org. Another great resource: nourishinteractive.com

Some other things you can do

Encourage rest and proper sleep habits

Encourage a positive outlook

Remove the stress and pressure to “work through” or “push on” through injury

Try cross-training with other activities (not to load extra onto already tired kids but to promote balance in the body; you might even speak to your child’s teacher or studio owner about alternatives within the studio)

Check Out These Related Articles!!

Learning How to Gauge Injuries Can Prevent You From Being Sidelined

This is an excellent article from Dance Spirit magazine. It offers easy guidelines about when to sit out and when to see a doctor.

Talking to Your Doctor About Injuries

Another one from Dance Spirit, this article lays out exactly what doctor’s need to know from dancers. A dancer’s “normal” may be different than a non-dancer due to the type of training dancers receive. Physicians need to know what you were capable of before your injury. This article has a lot of great information and stresses that dancers should not minimize their pain, as is their tendency.

Breaking Tiny Foot Bones

Stress fracture signs and treatment on Ballet Shoes and Pointe Shoes Blog.

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Featured, Health and Wellness, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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Exclusively Ours — Anthony LoCascio Talks About Danceregister

Nichelle (admin) — Tue, 26 May 2009 19:10:40 +0000

In case you haven’t noticed, social networks are all the rage. Since 2002, when MySpace emerged as one of the Internet’s earliest leaders in social networking, interaction online has been focused upon building communities within this vast realm.

One such community focused entirely on dance is Danceregister.com. Though you may not have heard of it yet, the site has been around since 2007. According to Anthony LoCascio, the master teacher and Tap Dogs alum who helms the community, “Danceregister seeks to unify the dance world and to increase the strength of present dance-related entities for a more prolific future of dance in the physical, mental, and digital world.” Based in the Silicon Valley, Danceregister is in an excellent geographic position to investigate, explore, and test online technologies and ideas before they are widely exposed to the public. Therefore, Danceregister is ever-evolving, making use of these new technologies to further their mission, which is to create a positive legacy that represents and makes available, all aspects of the dance studio community in one safe, helpful, user-friendly, positive, like-minded network.

Anthony took some time to talk with me about social networks, Danceregister, and the online dance community.

Dance Advantage: In 2007 you launched Danceregister.com, a “gated social networking community.” Who is Danceregister for?

Anthony LoCascio: Though it was originally created for the safety of dancers, Danceregister ultimately became useful to each individual demographic of the dance industry. Our community is utilized by studio owners, teachers, students, parents, merchants, services, and even other dance-related web sites. It is exclusively ours, exclusively dance!

Photo by William Hook

DA: I understand that parents are notified when their child applies to join Danceregister. That’s a great way to keep parents in the loop about their child’s activity online.

AL: We do send an email to the parent, as well as verification letters to dance studios. We monitor the site personally and have a volunteer “crew” to report anything suspicious in the community. In two years we have had a perfect record when it comes to the safety of our members.

DA: A gated community implies that there are additional security measures that ensure student safety. Are there ways you make certain that only members of the dance community are gathering at Danceregister?

AL: Because nothing in the world is perfect, we use a few methods which act as a checks and balances system. Some we make public and others we keep private. All of this is because of our main goal – safety. No other dance website can claim they are as safe as us.

DA: You are extremely passionate about the subject of online safety and I know that Danceregister was born in part from your concerns about students’ security on MySpace and other networks. What are some of the dangers related to the use of social networking sites?

AL: The idea is not to scare anyone but to educate them on the facts, both good and bad. In addition to personal safety concerns on Myspace and Facebook, there are issues that may result in damage to your computer, the spread of viruses, unauthorized access to accounts, and spam.

Teachers are also quickly learning that by using social networks they expose themselves to a “business mixing with personal life” scenario. Just because they don’t think to search out students online, doesn’t mean students are not searching for them. Plus assistant teachers may not be mature enough to see the damage one posted photo or video can do to a business. Look at Vanessa Hugeness (Disney), past American Idol contestants (Fox) or previous pageant winners (Trump Enterprises). Ask them what one mistake on the net can do to a person or how it can hurt a product or business. Also, studios are their own living, evolving worlds that can contain drama. Danceregister deters drama where a site like Bebo, Myspace, Youtube, or Facebook can easily fuel drama.

DA: So, in your opinion, should dance studios stay away from these larger networks altogether?

AL: When used properly, these sites can be useful. It would be wise to have a studio profile on all Facebook and Linkedin-type sites. These profiles should be used as marketing tools. They should include limited but clear contact info or links to your own studio web site. They should be seen as a way to direct traffic to your own web pages, not to “friend” students and parents. Studios should use these sites primarily for marketing and directing business. Danceregister, with its security measures, is better suited for personal networking and in-studio communication.

Image by AnnDerground

DA: Danceregister is free to join, will this always be the case?

AL: With the community currently small enough to control, we will continue to be free of charge. However, with provision of safety, technology, time and exposure comes growth and additional costs. In the future we may charge a nominal fee for a lifetime membership. This is to guarantee each and every parent has knowledge of their younger dancer’s presence in our network. As membership requests become more dense, this fee will help support the site and provide a faster even more efficient verification process. We can project the fee won’t be applied until late 2009 to mid 2010 and that it will be a minimum of $8.95 and not exceed $14.95 plus tax. The goal is to have the least expensive fee for a lifetime so there is no hassle associated with reoccurring fees.

One goal, which is firmly in place and will continue to be a focus, is to charge no fees for studio owners/teachers. However, to keep the site at certain standards, there will be fees for merchants & services in the future. I do not want Danceregister to become inundated with advertisements. We are not a vehicle which plans to rely on advertising. Danceregister has a personal, friendly, positive relationship with its users and represents itself and not other corporations. Any adverts will be limited in quantity and location.

DA: What are some of the things a parent, for instance, might do at Danceregister?

AL: There’s so much to do there. They could check out our forums, get or give advice, write reviews of conventions or competitions, post video, photos, quizzes, polls, and more all in a safe environment. They could consult with master teachers, visit my live chat (which occurs Mondays and Wednesdays from 3:30 to 4:30 PST), post questions to adjudicators of competitions, share or obtain knowledge of the dance world by reading live news and updates, and develop personal relationships within the global dance community. They could also look up their home studio’s information (each studio is divided into “mini-communities” or subsets), chat live via IM or audio/video with other parents, or have a meeting with a teacher — fewer trips into the studio!

And all of this applies for everyone, not just parents!

DA: In addition to running Danceregister, you are also a teacher. Do you think technology is changing the way we teach or the way students learn?

AL: Dance websites and exposure to individuals and ideas has been excellent for the dance community, as has accessibility and the ability to download instructional videos. I have a Dance4teachers subscriber who takes my tap DVD’s, uploads them to her Mac, and puts them on her ipod touch. Now she can reference them during class right in the palm of her hand. That is a big leap (pun intended) from less than 10 years ago when I was still sending people VHS tapes!

DA: What are some of your favorite resources for dancers and dance educators online?

AL: Early in 1999, when I started my first web site, just4tap.com, dance had a very limited online presence – mostly on forums. Therefore, there is great history on a forum site like dance.net. With blogs gaining recognition over the past few years, they have become the personal voices of the dance community. Tapdanceman, and Danceadvantage are blogs I personally frequent. Danceregister even has a public blog for people who are not part of the private community.

For investigating or developing professional dance gigs, there are sites like sceneinteractive, exploretalent, and many others. For music editing or cutting songs for a performance, there is www.musiceditingonline.com. Plus every dance media outlet now has web representation.

DA: Dance has certainly exploded online recently. How have you seen the Danceregister community grow and change since it began?

AL: When I started Danceregister, I had about 125 members and they were all from my local classes. The major focus of Danceregister was safety and due to the safety issues on MySpace, I chose not to advertise Danceregister directly to the public. Year one was all about working on the best ways to cost effectively provide an environment where it was safe to post videos and photos and chat about dance in a like-minded positive setting. I only used word of mouth to expose the community. That said, we had just over 350 members by the end of the first year.

Now confident in the verification system we had implemented since day one, year two’s focus has included content and exposure. We hit over 1000 members just before our two-year mark and have a great deal of content now on the site. It is time to let people know about Danceregister. Students are having fun, parents have peace of mind, and studios are starting to catch on to the communication benefits of the network. After all this hard work I am determined to get the word out!

DA: Well, I love to point my readers to dance resources online so, I’m happy to help with that part. Can you tell us more about what’s on the horizon for Danceregister?

AL: I am planning a video blog on Danceregister in September. These videos will follow me on an upcoming tour as I return to the stage with Tap Dogs. We are planning a contest also for September. Just a few of the prizes are iPods, Danceregister swag, iTunes®/Napster/Rhapsody gift cards valued from $25 to $50, DVD classes provided by Dance4students, and more. The top prize will be a gift certificate for two concert tickets of your choice. I personally will be present at the Rhee Gold Teacher conference this summer. If you are at the event please feel free to stop by and say hello. Danceregister will have a table in the Exhibit Hall.

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Dance Media, Dancethropology | Who's talking about this article?

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Excavating the Archives – Don’t Miss These Posts!

Nichelle (admin) — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:00:41 +0000

I hereby declare Fridays links day on Dance Advantage!

One of my goals at Dance Advantage is to connect readers to other places and spaces online so that you don’t have to search high and low for great resources yourself! Generally Fridays will be a day to point you elsewhere in this world wide web. However, because it is the nature of blogs to feature the latest posts and entries, older posts can get buried. So, I thought I’d kick things off by “kinecting” you to some older posts within Dance Advantage that you may have missed!

(Bonus! All of these posts contain links to other sites! — Talk about Kinected!)

Costume Crisis – What to do when dance costume companies fail you at recital time

Fostering Artistry in Young or Beginning Dancers - First steps: Ask a child to be creative.

DanceMom.com – A forum for dance parents

Dancing With Conscience – Dancers and dance organizations that are making a difference

Art or Not? Musings on Dance, Art, and Entertainment

Eye of the Beholder – This one is just for fun! Do you know which way the dancer is spinning?

Two Heads Are Better Than One - More wonderful online resources! Deb Vogel and Lisa Howell join forces.

Reflection and Journaling for Dancers – Types of journals and the usefulness of keeping a “dance diary”

Classic Confusion – Sorting out labels in dance like classical, modern, and contemporary.

Bullying in Dance Class - Do girls bully? You bet! Don’t miss the resources and info in this one!

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog | Who's talking about this article?

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Appraising the Value of Praise

Nichelle (admin) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:00:27 +0000

Photo by Tommy Hemmert Jørgensen

One of the desires of a teacher or a parent is to create an environment within which self-esteem can grow in a child. The goal is to build confidence in a healthy way so that they can better deal with the every-day adversities and challenges that life brings, both as children and adults. Often, parents and teachers take action by providing children with plenty of praise, accolades, and awards. But, is there such a thing as too much praise? Is it possible for praise to backfire? How can one instill confidence without creating a dependence on external approval?

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Most experts seem to agree that empty praise like “Good job!” or “You’re awesome!” is ineffective because children recognize that these statements are not always accurately or sincerely offered. It has been found that students praised for being smart are less motivated to achieve than those appreciated for working hard. They believe their intelligence to be unchangeable rather than something that can be improved upon, in turn affecting their performance:

“Kids who get too much praise are less likely to take risks, are highly sensitive to failure and are more likely to give up when faced with a challenge.” – Why Praise Can Be Bad For Kids, ABC news

As you can see, because of such findings, it has often been surmised that too much praise can be a bad thing (as noted in the quote above). However, similar outcomes might also apply in students who are continually criticized. So is too much praise really the problem or is it something else?

Descriptive and Appreciative vs. Evaluative

A statement is evaluative any time we use “good,” “poor,” or “excellent” to label a person, skill, or effort. Assigning a judgment tells the dancer how they should feel about themselves or what they did. Faced with continuous evaluation (be it positive or negative) by others, a student begins to depend on this feedback for forming opinions about themselves (self-approval/disapproval).

Evaluative Statements provide only temporary results. Sooner or later a student will find they cannot live up to your assessment. They may try to prove you wrong or, become discouraged, remembering all the times they weren’t “great” or “sweet,” or, feel disappointment any time their pirouettes are not deemed “wonderful.” Children labeled as “good” at something are less likely to discover exactly what their strengths or weaknesses are and therefore cannot build upon these things. Their improvement may slow or stop altogether or, they may focus only on this area, striving for more approval.

Photo by Wesley Fryer

Why Do We Evaluate?

There are many reasons we fall into a cycle of evaluative praise or judgments. One, it’s easy and requires little thought. Another, more subliminal reason is because it creates dependency. It makes our opinions about what is good or bad matter and encourages the student to conform to our ideals, keeping us in a position of authority.

Be More Specific

Professionals in the field of education encourage teachers and parents to be specific when offering praise and, to avoid labeling children. Recognizing that students respond better when the focus is on the effort or work involved, it is presumed that the type of praise, not the amount, affects performance and motivation. “Your pirouettes look great!” is more specific than “Great job, Alison!” “Brooke, you’re spotting really well.” is clearer still. Even more effective, because it focuses on the work involved, might be something like “Hayden, you’ve been working hard on your alignment at the barre. Your pirouettes look wonderful!”

However, consider the power of a statement that avoids evaluating even the skill itself and, instead, simply describes and appreciates their accomplishment. For instance:

EVALUATIVE — “Hayden, you’ve been working hard on your alignment at the barre. Your pirouettes look wonderful!”

DESCRIPTIVE — “Hayden, thank you for working so hard on your alignment at the barre. Your turns have really improved!“

Descriptive and Appreciative Praise may seem unnatural or more cumbersome at first. It is likely that you will occasionally find yourself offering an evaluative statement – don’t be too hard on yourself! As you know, practice is key to forming positive habits and change. Like the comment to Hayden above, many times only a slight change is needed to make a remark more descriptive and less evaluative. It won’t take long until you’ve mastered the technique!

Here are some simple guidelines:

Use “Thank you for…” instead of “Good job.” to show your appreciation for their work/attitude.

Describe specifically what you see, hear, or feel - “Your spotting was really crisp and clear.” vs. “You’re a great turner.” or “Your comment to Jill hurt her feelings.” vs. “What a mean thing to say!”

Stick to the facts about how you feel - “When you talk in class, I feel frustrated that I have to talk over you to be heard. It concerns me that you won’t hear what I have to say.” vs. “It is really rude to talk while I’m talking. You obviously don’t care about your dancing.” (I, I, I instead of you, you, you)

Present a bigger challenge – “Now, try a triple pirouette!” vs. “Excellent double!” This works for a negative, too. If the students are spinning like tops but not maintaining their turnout don’t congratulate them for getting a quadruple, ask “Can you keep your legs turned out and still do the quad?”

Avoid labeling – “Thanks for helping me put away the props!” vs. “You are so sweet!” or “I don’t appreciate your tone.” vs. “Alright, Ms. Attitude, that’s enough!”

Photo by Gemma Longman

With your conscious effort to select words that are encouraging without being controlling, that focus on the deed not the doer, your students will be able to form their own opinions about themselves, their actions, and abilities. By fostering, rather than fashioning their healthy self-esteem, your students can feel secure, capable, and supported and will become more confident and responsible as a result.

Further Reading

Praise That Builds a Child’s Self-Esteem

Why Praise Can Be Bad For Kids

Montessori Classroom – Descriptive and Evaluative Praise

Can Adults Praise Children Too Much? (some alternative opinions presented here)

Practice some Descriptive Praise right now!

List three things that you might want to praise your students for in your next class.

Then, select ways you might state your praise descriptively.

Look for opportunities to use the phrases you’ve prepared/practiced in your next class.

Be sure to list your three phrases below in the comments so that others can see some more great examples!

And, let us know if you use or try this technique in class and share your results or thoughts!

© Nichelle Strzepek for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Featured, For Classroom, For Parents of Young Children, Health and Wellness, Parenting Dancers, Teaching | Who's talking about this article?

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Life as a Dance Mom – Finding the Balance Between Friend and Fanatic

Guest Contributors — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:29:43 +0000

The following is a guest post by blogger and dance mom, Mariangela Abeo. She shares her experiences and thoughts on fostering your child’s love of dance, providing a supportive environment, and maintaining a positive relationship with your young dancer.

Life as a Dance Mom

Colleen Dishy Photography

We buy their first ballet shoes (and dozens thereafter), their leotards, tutus, warm-up’s, bags and other gear. We take them to classes – lots and lots of classes. We do their hair. We volunteer at their performances, doing makeup, folding programs, ushering patrons, sewing costumes, doing anything we can to make our child’s experience with dance as fulfilling as possible.

We are often the forgotten heroes, the cheerleaders taken for granted. We get nervous with them before performances and auditions, and we are always there for the triumphs as well as the heart breaks.

Encouraging Arts Activities in a New Age

Colleen Dishy Photography

I have been a “dance mom” for 9 years now and I have learned that there is a fine and delicate line between a supportive and encouraging parent and the dreaded “Stage Mom”. It is my hope, in this space, to give you some tools to help your dancer become whoever he or she wants to be, while helping you to maintain your sanity and their love. So no matter how far they decide to take their dance career, they will value the support and encouragement you gave and thank you for it.

“If my parents had only encouraged my (insert personal childhood passion here), then I may be doing something different as an adult.” Sound familiar to any of you? I know I have said it myself many times. Our parents’ generation focused more on the basics; work, bills, bowling league, bridge club, etc. Rarely did they think of altering the family’s life style, budget and time for the sake of the children, much less for something like DANCE!? In my family, it was just unheard of.

Colleen Dishy Photography

Times have changed, and this new age of parents is encouraging art in their children’s lives. Ironically (and unfortunately) it’s at a time when the Public Schools are discouraging them by cutting funds for extracurricular programs, but I digress…

So what can you do to be supportive of your child’s love for dance? How can you nurture the LOVE for dance and still encourage the discipline side of it when they hit a certain age, and WHEN do you know what age to take things to the “next level?”

One Mom’s Nine Thoughts

Here are my opinions, and they are simply my opinions – a humble offering to you from a mother who has literally driven thousands of miles down this long road; no laws or written rules, just personal experiences of things I’ve found to “work.”

When they are young, be sure to find a school that fosters and nurtures your child’s LOVE for dance. A lot of parents seem to think they need to find an “accredited” or “professional” school when kids are young and displaying an early penchant for dance. I disagree; if they love it, find a school that caters to your child’s passion with gentle discipline and fun activities.

“Check in” with your child regularly, each semester perhaps. As often as you’re paying tuition, it’s important to know whether or not your child’s love for dance is still there; ask them if they have any issues or concerns. If at anytime dance is no longer fun, it’s time to reassess the value of the classes.

Resist the urge to live vicariously through your dancer. What mother/girl (or rare breed of dad) did not entertain the idea of being a dancer for at least a moment during their childhood? Few, if any I’d bet. Don’t try to relive that through your child. This needs to be THEIR dream and THEIR desire. And if it’s less than a desire, consider what or who else is pushing them.

Be an honest critic, be realistic. The dance world is extremely competitive. If your child is at an age when things are getting serious (4+ days of dance a week, hundreds and hundreds of dollars in annual tuition costs, etc.), don’t be the parent that thinks their child is the best in the class. Talk to your child about their teacher evaluations and help them remember the importance of solid fundamentals like stretching, rehearsing, practicing.
Colleen Dishy Photography

During their teens is when kids either phase out of dance or become obsessed with it. Leave that decision up to them, but be sure to support it. They will NEED someone to remind them to do tedious and important things if they stick with it, and they will need someone to help them find a new path if they quit. BE that person.

When they are showing promise and are ready for more work and commitment, THAT’S when its time to find an “accredited” school. Do your homework and find a safe and healthy environment that kicks up the level of classes and discipline.

Prepare them for the rejection that comes with auditions. Let them know how proud you are of them no matter what the outcome, and be the consolation and shoulder to cry on for those hard falls (they get harder as they get older).

As they get older, try not to enable. Make sure that they learn to do their own hair, care for their shoes etc. Some schools make it a rite of passage, so that a girl cannot go onto point until she learned to sew her own shoes. Encourage these rites of tradition.

Prepare for your dancer to want to be a “fireman” one day. I say this to people who tell me “it’s amazing that your daughter already knows what she wants to be at this young age!” I am totally prepared for her to change her mind. She is only 12! Even if she was 16, 18, 20! Some of us don’t discover our path until later in life! Point is, don’t pressure them!

In closing… this 10th is #1

Mariangela and Madison

Be sure to love your child unconditionally. It’s easy to judge and criticize when we invest a lot of our time and energy (and money) into something. At the end of the day, they are your babies, your child before anything else. So they forgot their cue in the Nutcracker and messed up the timing, life goes on. Make sure the hug after the show is even bigger, they will need it. And if, one day, they are fortunate enough to become professional dancers and you are lucky enough to see them in their prime, on stage, dancing the most beautiful Pas De Deux ever seen, you can be proud knowing that you played a part in making this healthy, beautiful dancer. More importantly, your child will realize it and thank you.

Mariangela Abeo is a mother, wife, entrepreneur, volunteer and friend. Her first and most important job is as a mother. Her other jobs consist of working with her husband in the Seattle music industry, doing dreadlock maintenance and writing for her blog , Dinner and a Movie, and taking her child to and from dance 4 days a week. You can also follow Mariangela on Twitter!

© Guest Contributors for Dance Advantage, 2009. | Permalink | Category: Blog, Competing, Parenting Dancers | Who's talking about this article?

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