I Can’t!

Can’t Can’t Can’t

Do you find yourself saying or thinking this word? When you consider it, it seems really silly that out of everything we practice in class (most of which we’re quite good at), we choose to focus only on what we have trouble with. Teachers, too, often forget that their students need to hear the accomplishments as well as the corrections. If we’re not careful, those little voices inside begin telling us all about what we “can’t” do. We begin to fear anything new or untried, and fear not being good enough or even failing at the things we do try.

I know how it feels to think you’re the only one in class who can’t get it right. The key is to not let it take you off the path – quitting or giving up on yourself because you’re not perfect. Stay grounded in the fact that everyone has something they’re reaching for, everyone has something they’re good at, and everyone has something to give. Remembering your strengths and abilities will sustain you through the “I can’t!” moments and allow you to continue striving for those goals that are just out of reach.

Even if you only struggle with the “I can’t” syndrome occasionally, it is important to keep in mind that you can do it. It may not be perfect this time or next but getting better is just a matter of time, hard work, and some guidance from a knowledgeable teacher. Of course, thinking this way is easier said than done when you find yourself struggling through a class. During these times, remember you must leave the comfort of what you already know in order to grow. If your teacher gave you only the things you already do well, you’d never improve. While practicing the things that feel comfortable is important in a dance class, you have to face challenges in order to advance in technique and performance. Your job as a student is to accept those challenges and trust that you’ll benefit from them. It’s not always easy, or fun, or comfortable. The hardest part is being willing to fail before you can succeed. When doubt starts to creep in consider this: Each failure brings you one step closer to success.

Combating the Can’ts

Most dancers are very hard on themselves. They’re the first to self-criticize and very rarely let themselves off the hook. Because dancers are ultimately responsible for their own learning and growth, a reasonable amount of self-analysis and scrutiny can be a very good thing. In fact, most good dancers need a degree of perfectionism in order to succeed. However, this same quality can be destructive when dancers let the criticisms take over and discourage them from believing that difficulties can be overcome.

One of the best (and sometimes worst) things about dance is that there is always something to strive for. We will never be great at everything and we’ll almost never do something perfectly the first time (or the second, or third…), or even every time. If we did there would be no reason to spend hours practicing each week. Remembering this in moments of insecurity may allow you to accept challenges and face them rather than giving up with an “I Can’t.”

The study of dance is a long, sometimes frustrating, often rewarding, path. If you keep a positive attitude, I can promise that you’ll find yourself that much closer to feeling comfortable with things that were once very difficult. Of course, you’ll also be battling new challenges! It never ends, but it’s never boring either!

Check out this post by Shawn Byfield. In his class “can’t” is a dirty word and uttering it has consequences!

This post was initially a sort of test page on the site. The content is more appropriate for a post. Therefore, I am relocating it. The original comments are below. Please feel free to add your own.

From gyl: This post is seriously inspiring. I find myself almost thinking of just giving up when I can’t catch up or when I do find a hard time with a certain choreography. I totally like this post. Thank You.

When do you find yourself saying/thinking these dreadful words?

How do you combat the I Can’ts?

Approaching Your Teacher or Studio Owner

I recently received a question from a reader who is interested in approaching her studio owner with a proposal. She felt that she and her fellow students could use a designated time each week for conditioning their bodies in addition to regular dance classes. Her proposal was to volunteer her own time and lead this conditioning class and wanted advice on how to best address the matter with her teacher/studio owner. I won’t get into the details of her particular situation or address whether or not a student is qualified to instruct such a class. Without knowledge of the student or the specifics, I cannot properly judge. However, I thought it was worth exploring this topic for the blog. At some point as a student or in your career, you may need to propose your ideas, questions, concerns, and suggestions to an authority figure. When doing so, take the following approach.

Be Prepared

When offering ideas or suggestions to a teacher (or boss, coworker, etc.) it is important to anticipate and consider any questions that he/she may have about your proposal. There are several reasons for this:

1. It helps to solidify your proposal. Sometimes we can be so excited about or positive of the value of our own ideas that we are blinded to some of the obstacles or negatives involved. Trying to think ahead and be the devil’s advocate will help you to discern the true value of your proposal.
2. It will increase your confidence when making the proposal. When you’ve looked at an issue from all sides, you are more equipped to handle scrutiny regarding your idea. You’ll feel better about the proposal itself and about addressing your teacher.
3. It will earn more respect for you and your idea. This is because your preparation will show that you have put time and effort into your idea and that you aren’t just complaining about what isn’t being covered at your dance school.

Questions To Ask Yourself

Here are some questions that may be important to consider before approaching your studio owner with a new class proposal. They ask the essential – Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why – that anyone creating a proposal should be prepared to answer or address.

• When will the class be scheduled? (day, time, frequency)
• Who are the participants?
  • Is it for anyone above a certain age?
  • Only for ballet students or competition/company students?
  • Is it mandatory for certain students?
  • Open to recreational students or those with non-dance fitness goals?
• How will the class be advertised or “sold” to students and parents (particularly if it is going to cost extra money)?
• How much time are you willing to spend to see this put in place (especially if you are doing it for no pay)?
• What do you think would be a reasonable cost for this class, and if you suggest offering it for free- is it free for anyone, or just students that already take so many classes per week?
• What kinds of exercises will participants be doing and how are they beneficial? (If you are hoping to lead the class, you should definitely have a plan or syllabus of goals and exercises).
• Why does the studio or its dancers need an entire class devoted to conditioning?

Often when one makes a suggestion, they think that the suggestion is enough and that it is up to the person in authority to figure out the details. However, I’ve found that it always helps to have thought through these details if you plan on offering your suggestions. Again, it looks a lot less like complaining when you can back up your ideas and also, as I said in my article on professionalism, it is a sign of leadership.

The Approach

Put yourself in the shoes of your instructor. Would you rather hear about what is lacking at your school, or listen to a student that wants to give back and has thoroughly thought about ways in which he/she can do so. The former only gives the impression that you think your teacher is not doing a proper job in training, the latter is encouraging. Your instructor will feel that he/she has helped produce a thoughtful and dedicated student. Keep this in mind as you speak with your teacher – how would you like to be addressed?

Timing can be everything. Don’t approach your studio owner during hectic times of the year. Schedule a time to sit down and talk with him/her so that your proposal will get the full attention it deserves. Don’t wait until right before the new season or school year begins to propose something that needs planning and coordination of efforts. Your instructor will appreciate these small but important considerations.

Present yourself in a professional manner. Speak with clarity and confidence. Show that you have done your homework and even dress the part. While you don’t necessarily have to wear your best “interview” attire, your appearance during the meeting with your teacher can make an impact.

The Outcome

Be prepared for any outcome and be respectful even if things don’t go your way or the way in which you expected.

1. Your teacher may love the idea and give you the green light. She’ll want to know that she can rely on you if she allows you to go ahead without much of her own input.
2. Your teacher may really like the idea, but she may not have the time to put the extra effort behind it.
3. Your teacher may have her own ideas to contribute or want to fine tune your suggestions. Be flexible in your vision and you’re more likely to see it happen.
4. She may like the idea but feels she or someone else may be better equipped to lead the class. Decide if you are willing to see this done even if you are not the one teaching and/or be prepared to state why you are qualified to teach this class.
5. She simply may not like the idea and, since it is her school, that is her prerogative. You should be prepared for that response also.

What are some additional things this student could consider?

Have you ever been in a similar situation? What was the outcome?

How are my thoughts applicable to situations outside the dance studio?

Reflection and Journaling for Dancers

Dance is a form of expression, allowing one to creatively or artistically “speak” through a non-verbal language. However, dancers have often found a need to express themselves through words and writing as well.  In fact, writing can be a useful tool for dancers, teachers, and choreographers.  And, journaling or keeping a diary is a great way to preserve and organize one’s thoughts, reflections, goals, and more.

Who and What

A dance teacher and friend of mine, recently wrote on her blog, Uptown Dance NJ, about ways in which a dance diary can be used for students, teachers, and professionals.  She spoke of her own methods and uses for this valuable tool and how and why she encourages her own students to keep a dance diary.

There are many types of journals from organizational (lists, schedules, data/idea collection), to pragmatic (what you did, what you’ll do, achievements, failures), to idealistic (goals, dreams, ambitions), to emotional (how you felt, reflections, critiques).  And, there are many, many, many techniques for writing and keeping a journal.  Some people collect and use or sketch images, others write free-form, limit themselves to one sentence, or answer questions or write lists.  Some use a binder, others a bound book, and others use technology and computers.  In this regard, each must determine the methods that will best meet his/her needs. However, in order to encourage you to make use of a dance journal, I’d like to highlight how particular aspects of a diary could be useful to dancers and/or teachers. Read more

How to Conduct Oneself as a Professional – Part II

This is a continuation of Part I of How to Conduct Yourself as a Professional which dealt with leadership, positive attitude, and work ethic.

Generosity

When I think of someone that displays ultimate professionalism, I see a person who is generous with their gifts, generous with their time, and generous in spirit.  This person is easy to collaborate with because he/she communicates with kindness.  This professional wants everyone around them to be their best and helps them to do so by being supportive and encouraging.  When a colleague is struggling, this person does not belittle or put her down.  He/she is aware enough to look for moments in which they can offer help that will not be embarrassing to the individual or interrupt the rest of the group.  And, help does not always mean showing or telling another how to do something.  Often an encouraging smile or a word or two that will lighten the person’s mood and frustration level is most helpful.  Also, being generous does not mean that you must lie to make another person feel good.  A professional still tells it like it is but avoids hurting other people in the process.  A generous and professional performer, collaborator, or contributor brings out the best in others because instead of focusing on I and me, a generous person concentrates on we and us.

Awareness of one’s surroundings and the other people in them is important but a professional must also be Read more

How to Conduct Oneself as a Professional – Part I

What does it mean to conduct oneself as a professional?

Someone that is consummate professional in their career and in their life is essentially a strong leader.  Years ago I was the drum major for my high school band (Yes, I know my geek quotient just went up but I wear it proudly).  In preparation for that role I was sent to a week-long camp to essentially learn how to be a drum major.  While there, I learned many valuable lessons during leadership training.  In fact, I kept the Leadership Seminar packet and will now offer its list of Quality Leadership Traits:

• A sense of humor
• A passionate interest in more than one thing
• High energy levels
• Tolerance of changing moods
• Knows how to listen
• Creative Read more

The Back-to-School Teach-a-thon is here!!

Read more

Strengths and Weaknesses

Dancers are an interesting sub-species. Observing dance students in their natural habitat (the studio) reveals that they tend to revel in their strengths and dwell heavily on their weaknesses. Dancers maintain a detailed mental list of their shortcomings as they wistfully pine for the “natural” abilities of another. Meanwhile, a dancer will redundantly practice the things he/she is already good at. For example, those with high degrees of muscle elasticity can always be found stretching at every opportunity, quick and powerful movers constantly hone their ability to explode into a leap at any given moment, and “turners” spin like a top in a quest to eek out just one more revolution in their pirouette. When searching for the Achilles Heel of most any dance student, simply look to the skill which he or she most regularly avoids.

Mastering Strengths and Overcoming Weaknesses

In my opening I am gently mocking what I’ve witnessed both in the dance studio and even within myself at times. However, despite the tendencies of a dancer, there are dance students that manage to master their strengths and overcome substantial weaknesses in their desire to improve. TapDanceMan includes the focus on developing strengths and improving upon weaknesses as one of his 10 Habits of Highly Effective Dancers. And, he’s absolutely correct. A dancer’s ability to spend more time and effort on areas that are lacking than on the things that give the ego a little boost, separates him/her from the crowd. That doesn’t mean the dancer necessarily reduces time spent on strengths, just that he/she puts in extra time on the weaknesses instead of avoiding them. It’s hard to do this, to face our weaknesses head on and diligently overcome them while still keeping our edge on the things that come more naturally. But, there’s no way around it either. If you are aware of something that you’d like to improve, you can expect to get acquainted with TEDD in order to correct it: time, effort, desire, and diligence.

Transforming Weaknesses into Strengths

Some weaknesses can be turned into strengths. For example, in an article describing the success of the musical Chicago, Nancy Cameron muses on Bob Fosse’s highly stylized choreography, stating,

“He took all of his bad habits and utilized them to his advantage. He didn’t have great placement. For instance, he didn’t have clean use of his arms, so he’d detract from that by wearing gloves. He didn’t have a strong turn-out in his legs, so he’d turn-in instead.

“He transformed all of his habits, even the way he walked. You know how Fosse dancers tend to lean back, with their tail tucked under – that’s supposedly how he walked. And I’m not quite sure, but I think maybe he didn’t have a particularly good hairline, and that’s why he always wore a hat.”

Not everyone will have the success of Bob Fosse, however, James Robey at DanceArt.com does a great job of pointing out that within Fosse’s story there is a lesson to be learned on being yourself. This is not to say that you should stop working on the things that are problematic for you (remember, solid technique is important in preventing injury), only that you can learn to accept your quirks or the things you can’t change because they can actually help set you apart.

Learning from Others

It is dangerous to constantly compare yourself to others, however, a lot can be learned from observing the strengths and weaknesses of fellow dancers. If someone is doing something well, try to assess what they are doing that you are not. Try not to focus on what they’ve got that you don’t. Instead analyze their actions – for example, adding strong dynamics to the movement, sharply spotting turns, executing a deep plié before a jump, etc. Study the weaknesses of others in the same objective manner, making sure that you do not repeat their mistakes. Dancers that watch closely whenever they are not dancing during class will absorb and apply the corrections given, leading to noticeable improvement.

In the Zone

Often dancers must leave their comfort zones to recognize or address their strengths and weaknesses. It can take an awkward audition to realize that perhaps you need to work on your speed in picking up new choreography, for example. Likewise, you may not recognize your particular ability to connect with the music until a stranger in a master class mentions it. New discoveries can be made when you dare to push yourself into uncomfortable territory in class (going for that quadruple pirouette or letting go emotionally in a new combination, for example). In all of these situations, you may risk exposing a weakness, but recognition is the first step in improving or transforming that weakness. Plus, the risk is worth it if you discover a hidden strength.

Be Persistent

There are rarely quick fixes in dance and a smart and effective dancer knows this. Dancers often hit plateaus in their development before their next “growth spurt” (physically and mentally). If you’ve been working hard on something and feel like you’re stuck, read The Dance Primer’s account of how sometimes weaknesses can suddenly become strengths if you don’t give up. And speaking of not giving up, I’ve written a page that offers encouragement to those who are struggling: I Can’t encourages dancers to accept challenges in a positive manner and serves as a reminder that every dancer has strengths and every dancer has weaknesses.