Comments on: Helping Dancers Deal With Disappointment http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/ Giving students, teachers, and parents an edge in dance education Tue, 22 May 2012 20:33:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Vicki@collegeparentcentral http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-7690 Vicki@collegeparentcentral Thu, 10 May 2012 03:50:14 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-7690 Two years after this article was originally written, the theme continues. Our children suffer some kind of disappointment and we parents feel the pain. We have trouble letting it go. It is harder to see your child disappointed or hurt than suffering it yourself. Helping our children, whatever their age, learn how to deal with the disappointment and grow from it is the hardest and best work that we can do. It doesn't go away. As the parent of now grown daughters, I still see them in situations that cause me pain - because I know that fixing it is the worse thing that I could do for them. Thanks again for this article that reminds us all that we are not alone. Two years after this article was originally written, the theme continues. Our children suffer some kind of disappointment and we parents feel the pain. We have trouble letting it go. It is harder to see your child disappointed or hurt than suffering it yourself. Helping our children, whatever their age, learn how to deal with the disappointment and grow from it is the hardest and best work that we can do. It doesn’t go away. As the parent of now grown daughters, I still see them in situations that cause me pain – because I know that fixing it is the worse thing that I could do for them. Thanks again for this article that reminds us all that we are not alone.

]]> By: France's Warth http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-7689 France's Warth Thu, 10 May 2012 03:35:03 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-7689 I never knew that being a parent was going to hurt so much. I'm sure that in my adolescence I had a lot of disappointment (in fact I know I had). I was resilient now that I look back and hope my daughter will be too. Tonight she found out that she did not make the dance team at her middle school. After talking with her, I search and found your article. I was happy that I used most of your advice here. It really helped my hurting I think I need more counseling than she does. It hurts a great deal. She doesn't want to go to school in the morning. I told her she needed to be strong and hiding wasn't going to make it better. However, it's her choice if that's what she thinks will help her through this. I think she will change her mind in the morning. I never knew that being a parent was going to hurt so much. I’m sure that in my adolescence I had a lot of disappointment (in fact I know I had). I was resilient now that I look back and hope my daughter will be too. Tonight she found out that she did not make the dance team at her middle school. After talking with her, I search and found your article. I was happy that I used most of your advice here. It really helped my hurting I think I need more counseling than she does. It hurts a great deal. She doesn’t want to go to school in the morning. I told her she needed to be strong and hiding wasn’t going to make it better. However, it’s her choice if that’s what she thinks will help her through this. I think she will change her mind in the morning.

]]> By: Kristi http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-7620 Kristi Wed, 04 Apr 2012 04:03:30 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-7620 Thank you for this. My teen daughter didn't make an elite group within her dance team.........she seemed to be taking it well, then boom all of a sudden she's wanting to drop out totally (she loved this team & the director prior to). I'm telling her that she needs continue. She asked me to speak with her director and I told her I can't "fix" every disappointment. I encouraged her to speak to the director. So, she projected her anger towards me saying that I'm forcing her to continue in a stressful situation. I'm at a loss.......but I will follow your advice and let her figure this out with me just loving her and listening to her. She will be an "adult" in a few years and I can't manage her life for her. I hope I do this right........ Thank you for this. My teen daughter didn’t make an elite group within her dance team………she seemed to be taking it well, then boom all of a sudden she’s wanting to drop out totally (she loved this team & the director prior to). I’m telling her that she needs continue. She asked me to speak with her director and I told her I can’t “fix” every disappointment. I encouraged her to speak to the director. So, she projected her anger towards me saying that I’m forcing her to continue in a stressful situation. I’m at a loss…….but I will follow your advice and let her figure this out with me just loving her and listening to her. She will be an “adult” in a few years and I can’t manage her life for her. I hope I do this right……..

]]> By: Nichelle (admin) http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-5351 Nichelle (admin) Fri, 10 Jun 2011 19:52:06 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-5351 So glad you've found this useful. Best of luck to you and your daughter. Let us know how you decide to break the news and how it goes! So glad you’ve found this useful. Best of luck to you and your daughter. Let us know how you decide to break the news and how it goes!

]]> By: Jill http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-5350 Jill Fri, 10 Jun 2011 17:10:10 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-5350 Thank you so much for publishing this! It will help me to let my daughter know that she didn't make the IP program at her dance school! She is the one who wanted to try out, but I'm taking the news harder than I'm sure she will. The hardest part of parenting is watching your child deal with hurts and disapointment! Thanks again! Thank you so much for publishing this! It will help me to let my daughter know that she didn’t make the IP program at her dance school! She is the one who wanted to try out, but I’m taking the news harder than I’m sure she will. The hardest part of parenting is watching your child deal with hurts and disapointment! Thanks again!

]]> By: Nichelle (admin) http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-4871 Nichelle (admin) Tue, 29 Mar 2011 22:38:28 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-4871 Hi Carrie, and welcome! I'm glad that you found this useful and that the article has applications beyond dance. So often the child gets over it long before the parent so stand your ground and focus on helping the student if he/she is still concerned or upset. I of course appreciate any sharing you do of the article. Best of luck to you in handling your situation - it's not easy! Hi Carrie, and welcome! I’m glad that you found this useful and that the article has applications beyond dance. So often the child gets over it long before the parent so stand your ground and focus on helping the student if he/she is still concerned or upset. I of course appreciate any sharing you do of the article. Best of luck to you in handling your situation – it’s not easy!

]]> By: Carrie http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-4869 Carrie Tue, 29 Mar 2011 21:52:22 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-4869 Thank you so much for this article! I am a music teacher and recently have had a lot of difficulty with a parent who was not helping her child in reaction to her not making the school talent show. I found this while searching for articles I might link in the future to other auditions. Thank you so much for this article! I am a music teacher and recently have had a lot of difficulty with a parent who was not helping her child in reaction to her not making the school talent show. I found this while searching for articles I might link in the future to other auditions.

]]> By: Susan http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-2555 Susan Tue, 06 Jul 2010 23:49:10 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-2555 This is a wonderful article. Thank you for providing it. This is a wonderful article. Thank you for providing it.

]]> By: Nichelle (admin) http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-1927 Nichelle (admin) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:33:07 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-1927 Vicki, Thank you so much for sharing the article with your readers! I do think there is a universal message here and I so appreciate your help in continuing the conversation and bringing it to other audiences. I will share your post on Facebook, Twitter, etc. - can't wait to read your upcoming article! Nichelle Vicki,

Thank you so much for sharing the article with your readers! I do think there is a universal message here and I so appreciate your help in continuing the conversation and bringing it to other audiences. I will share your post on Facebook, Twitter, etc. – can’t wait to read your upcoming article!

Nichelle

]]> By: Vicki http://danceadvantage.net/2010/02/16/dealing-with-disappointment/comment-page-1/#comment-1926 Vicki Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:44:29 +0000 http://danceadvantage.net/?p=1966#comment-1926 Great message, Nichelle. It applies to so many aspects of raising children, not just to dancers. I've linked to the post on College Parent Central. At this time when so many students - and their parents - are waiting for college acceptance letters, the message is especially important. Great message, Nichelle. It applies to so many aspects of raising children, not just to dancers. I’ve linked to the post on College Parent Central. At this time when so many students – and their parents – are waiting for college acceptance letters, the message is especially important.

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