Help! My Child Doesn’t Listen to the Dance Teacher!

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Concerned parents sometimes send questions regarding their child’s dance education. Keeping in mind that email questions often paint a limited picture, I do my best to offer sound advice based upon my experiences as a teacher. Recently a reader approached me with a series of questions. Based on her daughter’s difficulties with listening to the ballet teacher, this particular mother was wondering if perhaps ballet was just “not right” for her four-year-old daughter and was considering discontinuing her involvement, but wanted a second opinion.

Without observing the class or the child, it is obviously impossible to offer more than guidelines or things to consider when a child is not responding or responding negatively to instruction. Knowing that other parents may be asking themselves similar questions, I am offering an expanded version of the advice I gave to the parent mentioned above.

My child is not listening to the teacher. Is this a developmental phase?

Children do test limits and this is not limited to preschoolers – How does one know where a boundary is and feel secure that it will always be there if one does not occasionally walk to the edge of it?

Teachers and parents help children by making boundaries and expectations clear (often before the child has a chance to test them). When a child continually resists or pushes, even when limits are clear and consistent,  I suspect that something is interfering with the child’s ability to respond accordingly. A wide variety of things could be the source of this interference. Taking steps to discover what is going on with an individual child and what does work for him or her is a big step toward improvement of the child’s behavior in class.

I suggest you make an appointment with the child’s teacher to discuss what he/she is seeing in class, as well as set up a time to observe the class if possible. It is important for teachers and parent(s) to work together on possible solutions.

Is a preschooler (under 5-years old) too young to be expected to listen?

Absolutely not – in fact, the benefit of an early start in dance has more to do with the practice of following instructions in a class format than it does with preparing for later success as a dancer (some of the greatest professionals have had “late” starts). I’ve rarely encountered a child that does not enjoy moving (and learning about the principles of movement) when it is presented in a developmentally friendly way. This, in my humble opinion, should be the focus of early dance education.

What can I do if my child isn’t following directions in class?

1. 

   Image by Oude School via Flickr

   Keep your routine at home as predictable and peaceful as possible. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating well, and try to relieve any stress or anxiety he/she may have at home or in class (is this a new teacher from last year, is there conflict between your child and another, has the class environment intensified in some way?) Sometimes even small or unexpected things can affect a child’s attention and behavior.

2. Be clear and consistent with expectations at home and compare these to the class expectations. Of course, your style at home and the way your child’s teacher runs his/her class will not be identical. However, communicating and receiving (with an open mind) ideas about what works (or doesn’t) for a particular child can enlighten a plan for how to help a child cooperate, both at home and in the studio. If the rules/guidelines at home or within the studio are not in line with each other (for example the child is expected to not interrupt the teacher while talking but this behavior is pardoned at home, or at home a “countdown” warning is given before leaving or moving on to another activity and in class activities change without warning), the child may become confused about what is expected of him/her. Consistency is key.
3. Help your child establish a good relationship with his/her teacher. On her website, Dr. Laura Markham offers some tips on how to include your child’s teacher in daily conversation in a way that will help your child form an emotional and familiar attachment with him/her. Click here to read the article, which also includes other ways you can help your preschooler learn to listen to a teacher.

I have a bit more to add on this subject. Tomorrow, look for the continuation of this post in which I discuss class structure for young dance students and how certain experiences may discourage your child’s attentiveness in class.

Related posts:

1. Help! My Child Doesn’t Listen to the Dance Teacher! (Part Two)
2. When Should My Child See A Doctor for Dance Injuries?
3. A Window into Dance Teacher Wages

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Nichelle Strzepek is the writer/editor of Dance Advantage. Equipped with little more than passion for movement education, she embraced her inner computer nerd and began this blog in 2008. She holds a BA in dance and is an instructor with over 16 years experience. Nichelle continues to perform as a contemporary dance artist, covers dance in the Houston area as a freelance writer and critic, and balances daily life as a full-time mom.

Nichelle has written 237 articles for Dance Advantage.