Dance of Independence

As children prepare for preschool and begin to participate in more structured activities, dance class may be the first time he/she is separated from you.

As a parent, you may be unfamiliar with the procedures of a dance class or operations within a particular studio, but whether you have had experience with dance in your youth, as an adult, or not at all, you have your own expectations for your child, the class, and the teacher.

Jumping In

For a child new to dance, his/her initial days and weeks can be quite daunting. This is particularly true for a very young student who has yet to even attend formal schooling.  The new environment and unfamiliar faces can be frightening at first.

While some children jump right in with both feet, many children take a more cautious approach, using the first few classes to watch or participate minimally.

It is important to reassure this student and his/her parents that taking time to warm-up in a new situation is quite normal.  In fact, children may take several weeks to feel comfortable in a class. A lot can be absorbed and learned through observation, therefore, pushing or forcing the child is not necessary.

Gentle encouragement may help shy or frightened children adjust but most will participate when they are ready because often, no matter how intimidated, few kids will endure missing out on the fun for very long.

“Don’t Go!!”

Young children, when feeling insecure may insist (through body language, tears, or words) that they feel safer with a parent in the room.

It may be hard for you to resist prolonging or avoiding your departure to comfort your child or avoid tantrums.

Often, the goodbye is the hardest part for both parent and child, however, many children who cry and become distressed when a parent leaves quickly recover once the class has begun.

For ideas on ways to make goodbyes easier, check out this article. Parents AND teachers may also want to read How To Help Students Conquer First Day Jitters.

I have often found that children in dance classes have a tough time concentrating and fully engaging in class when parents are present.

Children sometimes become shy in the presence of unfamiliar faces and it is a rare child that can resist either running back and forth between class and their own parent, showing-off, or acting-up before an attentive audience.

As a teacher who is also a mother, I feel strongly that parents have a right to observe classes*.  However, scheduled times throughout the year for this purpose allows all concerned to prepare the children for this special event so that they can be attentive and productive in class while you quietly view from the sidelines.

The first few weeks of class are not the time to do this. This time must be spent establishing the routine students will follow during their session and the teacher’s authority and expectations in regard to the dancers.

If you want to see a teacher in action to make sure the class is right for you, the best time to do this is prior to the start of the class/season. If this opportunity is not advertised by the studio, just ask how or when you might observe a class before registering or enrolling.

*Observation Alternatives

Some dance schools offer alternatives to sitting-in so that parents may regularly watch classes.

I have taught under nearly all possible circumstances including, one-way mirrors, viewing windows, and video monitors. Of all of these, I preferred the video surveillance camera.

It allows visual access for the parent whose worry may be the overall safety of the child but is unobtrusive for the students and teacher. Windows and mirrors, I have found, cause almost as much distraction as having people in the room. Windows, because students can see and become distracted by activity outside, and mirrors, because students become distracted by what they know must be outside.

I also observed less critical or negative parent-talk in the lobby with video surveillance than I witnessed outside studios with windows. Perhaps this was because the black and white video monitor more easily became secondary to conversations and business going on in the waiting area, rather than the main attraction.  If you have experiences with these or other forms of observational tools in dance studios, I’d like to read your comments below.

Parent Involvement

Teachers may encourage parents to come early before their child’s first day of class (or at some other designated time) to look quietly around the studio and say hello to their teacher.

This helps the child to become familiar with their class environment and is just one of the ways you might be enlisted to help smooth your child’s transition into a new class. Here are some other ideas:

• Ask him/her to become the teacher at home, instructing you or even siblings on what he learns in class each day.
• Make a ritual of providing hugs and kisses before and after class
• Offer to have a special toy or stuffed animal be a stand-in until class is over
• Put together a special dancer’s outfit or accessory that will make the child feel stronger or perform better in class.

Children can even have a say in the matter. Ask them what might help them to feel more secure even though Mommy or Daddy cannot be with them for this short time.

Parent involvement is beneficial to the students and teachers and reassures you that your role is an important one.

Dance of Independence

As important as parents are to the development and learning of their children, as they grow kids also benefit from time apart from their parents. They gain confidence in their ability to make choices, learn new things, form ideas all on their own, and then proudly share them.

As you witness these developments you will learn to value and enjoy your child’s dance of independence, watching as he/she learns to appreciate dancing with and without you.

Teachers, remember that in leaving their child with a dance teacher, parents are putting a great deal of trust and faith in the school and in the instruction being offered. Making clear what is expected of parents and children, addressing any concerns with understanding and care, and demonstrating that the child’s needs are top priority among the professionals at the dance school will help maintain this trust.

Speaking of a child’s needs, the parent and school may not always see eye to eye, however, school administrators must be willing to stand firm in the principles that guide their decisions, even if it means that some pupils/parents will decide that their principles are not aligned and leave the school.

Parents, this does not mean that your concerns are not valid or deserving of evaluation. However, schools that implement changes (against their better judgement) simply to keep customers damage the trust they have established among their larger body of parents and students.

Trust that a good dance school will take great care in helping their youngest students adjust, provide the best possible education so that a solid foundation is created on which to build, and establish strong communication with parents.

Working together, parents and teachers can give young dancers a great start to a long and positive future in dance.

In a nutshell download:

Print PDF